Blooming Later

In high school someone looked me in the eyes and told me I wouldn’t make money doing what I loved.

My most significant relationship ended and I didn’t just lose him, I lost the version of my life I thought was finally falling into place.

I knew of God but didn’t know Him personally yet.

I’m finishing my degree later than most.

I built an entire career, then lost it, then had to start over.

By every timeline I was ever handed - I was behind.

And for a long time I believed it.

The thing about timelines is nobody tells you whose they are. You just wake up one day measuring yourself against one you never chose.

Life was never meant to be linear. Growth was never meant to follow a straight line. It spirals. It doubles back. It takes you somewhere you didn’t expect and somehow that’s exactly where you needed to be.

Nobody tells you that the benchmarks, the milestones, the checkboxes, the by now you should haves, were never actually yours to begin with.

They were inherited. Assigned. Handed to you like homework. Due date included.

And here’s what nobody says out loud: those milestones were never the measure of arrival. You are the measure. Your growth. Your healing. Your becoming. The woman you are turning into.

She is the only milestone that has ever actually mattered.

It took therapy and faith to untangle that. To sit with the uncomfortable truth that I was never behind. I was just on my own path and hadn’t learned to trust it yet.

We are exactly where we are supposed to be. I know that now, but I didn’t always.

If I could sit across from my 22 year old self or even my 25 year old self, still trying to figure it out, here’s what I would tell her:

You were never as behind as you believed.

It is safe to express yourself.

You are worthy of love. Not when you arrive, not when you figure it out, Right now. As you are.

Don’t be so hard on yourself.

You are more resilient than you know.

You are powerful.

You are capable.

And you are so, so enough.

The long road gave me things the short one never could have.

Discernment. Resilience. Creativity. Authenticity. The ability to heal my inner child. A self assurance that can only come from having been tested and surviving it anyway.

You cannot shortcut your way to those things. You can only live your way there.

To the lovely lady reading this:

If you feel behind on the career, the apartment, the relationship, the life you thought you’d have by now.. I want you to hear this:

You are not late.

You are not behind.

You are right where you are supposed to be.

You are becoming.

And becoming takes exactly as long as it takes.

The woman you are turning into could not have been rushed. She required every detour, every disappointment, every moment you thought you were losing, every season that felt like wilderness.

She needed all of it to become her.

So did you.

Bloom on your own timeline, girl. The flowers were always yours. 💐